i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize