she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
