I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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