Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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