I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
