so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
And then he peed in my hair
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