matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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