im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
