The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
