I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
