Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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