rhymes with "ouble enetration"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
