Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
