it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Randomize
