he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think pants incapable of making pants work
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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