What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
