i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
