Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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