One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
