dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I deserve this hangover.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
