In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
