Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
