I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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