this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize