he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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