i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
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