U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Randomize
