allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
