Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
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iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
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I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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