well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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