Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
