i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
