we're blogging at a bar
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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