..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
