What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
