belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I have aggressive nipples.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
