at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
