Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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