Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize