this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize