All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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