I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Damn victory sex feels great
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
