3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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