mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
