It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
