Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
