i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
