We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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