Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
