there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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