I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
