I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
