The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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