OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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