I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
