just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
