awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
