You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
