Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
