he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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